Single moms get the job done
Remember the days when the experts predicted children raised by single mothers would be disciplinary nightmares and grow up to be dysfunctional adults? They got it wrong.
The “experts” used to say that children who were raised by single mothers would inevitably grow up to be dysfunctional adults who would fail in life. “Children of single moms are going to fail academically!” they warned us. “Kids from broken homes are going to be disciplinary nightmares!” they moaned. “Children from a one-parent household will never succeed!” they insisted. Inflammatory statements that were, as we now know, empty warnings.
I want to blow the cover off these notions, and let you know that single moms and their children are thriving. Of course, there is such a thing as free will, and in order to succeed, one must have the desire to succeed—no matter what kind of environment they’re raised in. And for moms going it alone, it helps to have a supportive community network
I know single mothers who set the standard for excellence in child-raising. Their children got good grades, made good decisions and have found successful careers. “How did this happen?” one might ask. Whether single or with a partner, all mothers need support. I’ve noticed that single moms tend to ask for help when they need it—whatever the nature of that help may be.
Some single mothers who’ve struggled financially found professionals to guide them. Others rely on a strong social network. They all share the tenacity to move beyond expected limits. These single moms return to the work force, learn new skills and tackle any obstacle that gets in the way of their ability to take care of their families. These single moms have high expectations for their own children; perhaps they even push them harder so they don’t fall between the cracks. By example, they give their children the strength to move beyond failure and show them how to pursue their dreams. Many single moms would not have chosen this route, but they hold their heads high and reach for the stars. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, what stars do you reach for? And how do you teach your children to do the same?
Robin Maier is a licensed clinical social worker who uses a gentle therapeutic approach to guide women in every stage of life toward greater happiness
