Mental health for mom
When they hear the word “mom,” many people think of moms with young children. But no matter what age our children have grown to, mothers still hang on to concerns and have the highest hopes for their sons and daughters.
Worrying about children can put a real strain on a mother’s mental health.
Let’s take a look at two cases involving moms: Gail has two adult daughters. They both are both married and have young children, but Gail worries more about one than the other. Bethany is mother to a son in college and is not sure how to deal with his lack of focus. She doesn’t feel comfortable when her son talks about his future goals, some of which seem somewhat misguided. She just wants the best for her son. During my sessions with Gail and Bethany, the same questions arise: When is it appropriate to begin a discussion about a sensitive topic? How does a mom keep her mental health in check, deal with her own anxiety, investigate the situation, but not come across as meddling? The answers lie, once again, in finding a healthy balance.
Mothers ask their adult children questions simply out of concern and want to give advice from experience. Moms want to know when and if they should give advice and when to invite conversations about their own concerns. Is it our duty as parents to, at times, enable adult children? How does this affect their mental health? How do we set new boundaries? Is there ever a stage where parenting ends? Or are there just stages in a lifelong parenting journey? Once again, we moms are enter a new stage of development. Here are some tips regarding discussions with our grownup babies:
Focus on neutral topics.
Explore the best times to talk with sons and daughters.
Plan a special time with them; perhaps a weekend getaway together.
Believe in their choices and dreams, no matter how far farfetched some may seem.
Don’t let your own feelings build up and fester.
Robin Maier is a licensed clinical social worker who uses a gentle therapeutic approach to guide women in every stage of life toward greater happiness
