Productive parenting when you’re the one with ADHD
One client says the hardest thing about parenting with ADHD is that the symptoms are invisible. Other people think she’s just a bad parent.
Successful parenting with ADHD is by no means an insurmountable task. But you’ll need a few good strategies in your back pocket to keep the peace and stay on track.
ORGANIZE THE NIGHT BEFORE
It may seem like a hassle to organize the night before, but this strategy alone is a lifesaver. No one does well with chaos at the start of their day―you or your children. Organize the backpacks, lunches, clothes, and your own bags the night before. This way, in the early hours of the morning, the children can simply grab their packed backpacks and go. Peace can reign―for at least a few minutes. One client told me this rule is a godsend and works beautifully in her household.
GET UP EARLY
Waking up 15-30 minutes early will give you time to organize your thoughts and the day ahead. You may even want to consider a professional organizer. Simplifying your world makes for more relaxed parenting. Use your morning time for a few deep breaths, to write and organize, or even to read a book or magazine. This 15 minutes may be all you need to get that boost of parenting self-confidence!
BE FLEXIBLE
Think of what’s important in your world. If your child wants to wear “that outfit,” is it worth a fight? Maybe not. Be flexible about your own plans, too. Break your goals down into reasonable blocks. For instance, maybe going to grad school full-time is not a good idea, but taking one or two classes at a time is.
FIND BABYSITTING SUPPORT
Remember Hillary Clinton’s book, It Takes a Village? Parenting is hard work and everyone needs support somewhere along the path. No one really does this alone. Ask a family member or friend to help with your children for a few hours, or look for a reliable babysitter. There are many services available with stable, healthy young women who will help you take great care of your children.
CONSIDER MEDICATION
If you’re having a hard time staying focused, medication can help. Don’t be afraid to seek assistance from a doctor. While they’re not for everyone, medications do work and can be a great adjunct. After seeing a psychiatrist for the first time, one of my clients exclaimed, “The noises are finally gone from my head!”
FIND A THERAPIST YOU CONNECT WITH
Counseling that helps you better understand your life can be a profound relief. Nothing takes the place of a non- judgmental professional who understands what you’re dealing with. Look for a therapist with years of experience working with ADHD issues in all age groups.
Are you a parent with ADHD? What strategies have you deployed when facing life’s daily challenges? If you’re searching for a solution to a particular problem, please email me. I’ll do my best to find a solution!
Robin Maier is a licensed clinical social worker who uses a gentle therapeutic approach to guide women in every stage of life toward greater happiness
