Moving through loss
Women experience the loss of pregnancy far more often than many people realize—about 20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. No matter how much time has passed, the women still feel a great need to talk about it. You never know when you will meet a sister who shares your pain. In reality, you meet them all the time.
I recently had the joyful experience of attending my daughter’s graduation. As I boarded for home, I thought about how you never know who you might sit next to on a plane. I sat next to two very interesting women. The conversation flowed easily between the three of us. I told them about my work as a therapist in Tampa; it felt like we were old friends catching up.
We were different in terms of lifestyle and age, but we all had something in common: Each of us had miscarried or lost full-term babies. One of the women was never able to take a pregnancy to the end. One had two children but had suffered through several miscarriages. One had four children but had experienced other miscarriages and lost a full-term baby.
We had all endured great heartache and we had all chosen to move forward, seeking new experiences and living life to the fullest. We all spoke of our profound sadness at our losses, but agreed that the joys of finding fulfilling careers or raising other children somewhat helped alleviate the pain.
Women experience the loss of pregnancy far more often than many people realize—about 20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. It may be common, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I am always enthralled when listening to women share these deeply personal traumas. No matter how much time has passed, the women still feel a great need to talk about it.
If you are one of the thousands of women who have experienced such a loss, I pray you find solace in sharing your story. You never know when you will meet a sister who shares your pain and understands your search for peace. In reality, you meet them all the time. Know that you are not alone.
Robin Maier is a licensed clinical social worker who uses a gentle therapeutic approach to guide women in every stage of life toward greater happiness
